darecrow:

Imagine being pregnant in new york

and your husband gets a cab for you and you’re rushing to the hospital when

"wELCOME TO THE CASH CAB"

(via slapmytitties)

cooldudebro:

let me lay down some facts for you:

  • aliens are real
  • horoscopes are real
  • skeletons are real
  • star wars is probably real
  • linkin park is almost too real

(via svviggle)

nijimei:

cherucat:

straight people are  so weird wtf like heres a drawing of two animals in love but one has eyelashes so you know these are Straight Animals

image

(via idontspeakmonkey)

actionables:

today this guy told me that my dress made my ass look fat (he sad it as a 'compliment') and obviously since it was 8:30 I was too tired for that shit and I replied with 'saying my ass is fat wont make your dick any bigger' and when he tried to defend himself saying his dick was big enough I told him that it doesn’t count if he shoved two thirds of it in his personality and he just looked at me completely defenseless AND BASICALLY I STOLE THAT LINE FROM HERE BUT I SLAYED

(Source: actionables, via shouldnt)

asseroth:

theappleppielifestyle:

a guy at school today was wearing this damn fine red nail polish and I heard these two girls whispering angrily and looking in his direction so I listened in expecting them to be weird about it and the first thing I hear is “how the HELL did he get it so good did he get it professionally done or something you need to ask him where he found that colour jesus fucking christ are you KIDDING me”

I think this is a good example of how the world should work.

(via trust)